I saw a "haven't heard from you, hope you are doing fine" message from an online friend, and decided that it is time to update, since I hadn't blogged since November!
Gee, time really zoomed passed me.

 

I am doing well, as well as I can be.  I am still enjoying my job as a speech-language pathologist and will be get my CCC soon.  Yay!  Besides work, I am busy helping my boyfriend with his business. I answer the telephone, and do a bunch of marketing material. Business is hard these days - small businesses are suffering and I doubt the situation will get any better.  Right now, we are able to provide jobs to some 15 or so local folks in small town Arkansas.  But, without tax breaks, higher taxes, and the impending health-care plan that the president is proposing, we are worried.  It has been a learning process, especially learning about the great "system."  We realized that government is taxing more than an individual worker knows.  We would love to pay those guys working for us more - many have families with little kids and would probably appreciate more in their pay checks.  But, there are a lot of hidden taxes employers have to pay, and employees usually don't know about what all go behind the scene.  We would love to hire a few more workers, but we can't afford it.  It is no wonder why jobs are going overseas. 

 

Other than that, my life in small town Arkansas consist of picking tomatoes, squash, and peppers from the garden. We have too much of that and I am running out of ideas what to do with those vegetables.  I am still cooking, even though not as frequently as I would like.  It also feels like I have a lot of responsibilities added to my load this year.  I thought I was an adult, but now, I am really one! :)

 

I also saw new babies in the familiy, saw friends getting married, getting divorced, and am dealing with some deaths in the family too.  The daily life goes on.  No one is stopping, time is not going to stop while you celebrate, cry or mourn.  That's just life. 

 

In a few days I will be off on a vacation. Maybe I will come back recharged. :)

It has been a long time since I last wrote.  I still have a lot of random thoughts circling in my mind, but I just havent had the time to write. 
Life's pretty good and busy.  It has been almost 2 months that I have not turned the tv on in the house.  It has been about 2 months that I have not complained about being bored or having nothing to do.  After my work, I would go and help Keith at the company.  It seems like things are working well.  Helping him at the company is the only way to spend time with him.  And I will make sure I use that opportunity. 

I have been cared for and loved and supported by a wonderful family.  LIfe does not get much better than this.  Definitely feels like having a family away from my family. 

 

It is rare that I get the chance to put a face mask on and pamper myself. 

I feel .. pretty. 

 

 

I am trying to establish a certain normalcy in my life again.  Life after graduation has been filled with a lot of changes. 

 

I have moved (even though my belongings are still in two different houses), found a job, and trying to get back into my regular swing of things. 

I have joined a gym, and have made a personal pact with myself that I will start working out on a regular basis again. 

I am trying to organize my office things into my new office.  And today, I am very proud to say that I set up the entire printer/scanner/fax machine combo all by myself! I am by no means stupid, but I definitely lack the patience to read installation manual (for cellphones, remote controls, iPods, printers) and follow instructions.  Today, I sat through it - I didnt give up and I did it! HA!!

I am still trying to unpack those things that I have moved from Ruston to my current place of residence. :) I have the pantry done. And I have a lot more to do.  In a way, I kinda dread doing it because I need to work all my stuff with the stuff that is already in the house.  It will get done. 

I inherited 3 dogs - Whitey, Adventure, and Buttercup.  I have come a long ways with dogs. I am still a little wary of stranger/new dogs but I am definitely more rationale and able to react calmly to them now.  As for Whitey, Adventure and Buttercup, we are getting along fine.  It is nice to have the dogs run up to the driveway when they see you drive in from work, ready to welcome you home. :) I love it.  Buttercup and Whitey are my friends - they listen to me about my day and they keep me company too. In fact, I feel safe when Buttecup sleeps outside my door at night. I feel like she is protecting me. :)

 

Work have been great. I love it. The little kiddos and of coz' my really supportive and helpful colleagues. They are great and are making learning a tad easy!

I am still thrilled that I have a job and am absolutely floored that I have THIS job! :)

Life is pretty good so far. I am rather contend with what I am blessed with.  Perhaps having a family of my own is the next thing on my list -- perhaps it will come, perhaps it won't.  I still don't know. 

 

 

Have a great weekend.

The holiday season is around the corner.  Time to think about gifts. 

This web site butcherblockbistro.com has gifts to fit most budgets. 

After seeing Matthew McConaughey cooking up a storm in his kitchen with a butcher block island in "Failure to Launch," I am growing slightly obessed with that. 

I am sure butcher block *whatever* is going to be the BIG thing in kitchen decor. :)

 

 

 

 

It has been quite a while away.  Life has been changing. I had planned to go straight, but managed to steer away and did a little detour.  I don't know where this will lead.  Perhaps I will be kicking myself when all this done.  But I figured, life strong alone or life with someone I love even though he may not want what I want, I chose the latter.

 

I am slowly making my way/ my move to the good Natural State.  It will be a small little town, but there is beauty in every place.  At least, I live somewhere far from people.  I look out of my window, I see land and more land. No other houses next or in front of me. Just a big piece of land. Sometimes, the dogs run around. Sometimes I see deer - a family of three, in fact. At night, the stars are bright.  You hear nothing but crickets, and sometimes, you hear Buttercup, Zoya, Whitey, or  Scraggly bark.  Perfect. 

 

Life isn't like the big city.  Some think I should explore the outside world.  But, when he is there, my heart is quite complete.  I am not lost, alone, or fearful of what's coming.  I have said it before, it is like "I am home."

 

 

A number of my friends have gotten married this year, and many more will be having their weddings in the next few months to come. Then there are some of my friends who are still searching for love, and there are some who wonder what is it that they not doing "quite right."
Regardless, I thought this is invaluable - a reminder for those who found love, and a beacon of light for those who are searching the answer to love.

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoice in the right.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

So, I haven't been writing much about my kitchen experiments this summer.  Life has been quite different -- with many rather life-changing events. 

But in brief,  I have been experimenting.  Of the more memorable ones, I roasted a duck. It was quite interesting. I didn't care too much for duck meat.  I used to love duck meat, but now, I just don't really like it that much.  Then, I shredded the duck meat and made some duck gumbo out of it. Much better. Anything with lots of spice, lots of onions, lots of celery, lots of thick soupy gravy on top of rice is great! 

Keith experimented with bread making. He is definitely much better at making bread than I am.  We had a sage loaf, a Spanish paprika and cracked black pepper loaf, some a somewhat sourdough-like loaf.  His bread were delicious and added that extra perfect touch to our dinners! 

I made a regular sheet cake -- omitting oil and used apple sauce instead.  On top, I used a lemon glazed-like icing.  It was yummy! The glaze hardens and forms a nice shell-like covering on top of the cake. 

And today, I experimented with cream puffs. Choux pastry weren't really intimidating. :) It was fun and different.  It was good. It didn't deflate, and it wasn't too eggy or too "styrofoamy" -- the words of Keith.  I made two different fillings for it -- French vanilla and lemon.  It was great. I can definitely work on making the filling sinfully creamier and a little less lumpy. 

Here is a picture!
 

... has been dull.  I miss slaving over assignments, checking tasks off my To-Do lists, juggling deadlines, and always having something productive to do.

 Job searching has been good -- I haven't really gone all the way out yet, but I am getting my feet warm.  It looks like I will most likely have the job with the schools, giving speech and language therapy to the little bitty kids - which is the age group I am interested and comfortable with.  We'll see.  I do hope to hear from some of the hospitals too, so I can make the wisest decisions. 

 

Other than that, life has been regular. Nothing exciting, nothing out of the ordinary. I am just going through each day like that.  It is rather depressing to think that my days aren't bright and cheery.  I guess, there are a lot of things on my mind.  A heavy burden that is sinking my heart.  I am aware that life is what I make of it -- that if I tackle it with guts and guile, it isn't going to be quite as bad.  Maybe it will get better soon.  Maybe the knot in my heart will be untangle soon. 

 

Have a wonderful day, and a wonderful week ahead. 

Graduation came and went.
I had a pretty good day, especially since I get to visit with Keith's family. 
It was really the highlight to see the them -- much more than getting the diploma itself. 

Celebration isn't one without having people you love around.  :)

 

Excitment is slowly building up.  It has just one week to graduation. 

After that, I will be officially a M.A. SLP-CF.  Yeap, worked two hard years in school for that string of letters after my name. 

Maybe eventually, it will be a Ph.D. SLP-CCC ????

It is going to be a 'quiet' graduation.  My folks arent going to be here, which kinda stinks coz I pursued this partly for them.  They didn't make it to my first graduation, and now, they are missing this second one.  I think this is quite a  big event of my life.  Heck, I may never get married or have kids, and it seems like graduation is the biggest achievements I can whip up for myself.  It is different.  I am pretty independent for the most part, and somehow, these days, I kinda just want family to be around.  I miss having a family.  Oh well, maybe this will be inspiration to get that Ph.D. down the road ?

 

Anyways, I will walk down that stage, knowing I have done myself proud.  I am the first person to graduate with a bachelors degree in my family, and also the first one to graduate with a masters degree!

I like being the first. :)

 

Ten days to graduation. This is getting a little exciting.
Now, I am just chilling at home, looking for a job, and getting a little kooky from not being busy.

I miss seeing my patients and working with them.

 

 

We finally have rain after weeks of dry weather.  It has been stifling hot in Louisiana.
August in Louisiana  has always been like this -- hot and humid. 
Yes, I see steam off the asphalt road as the rain pours down. 

Rain. Water. 

Perhaps it will sprout some growth, cleanse away some fears.
Perhaps the pitter-patter will soothe the soul and calm the nerves.

 

As I approach the end of a dark tunnel, it appears that I am entering into another one. 

No beginning, no end.  It is all a blur. 

I don't think I am lost because there seemed to be no where else to go, but forward. 

Forward to combat the fears, the uncertainties.

Forward to cross the hurdles, undertake the challenges. 

Forward to battle the heartaches and the pain. 

 

Sometimes I feel weary.  Sometimes I want a little break. 
Who am I?

What have I become?
What will I be?

What am I searching for?
When will my search be over?

May the sunflowers kiss again.
May the sunflowers smile again.

May the sunflowers bring joy to others again. 

 

 

Today's workout:

I have started on yoga, and I am loving it. 

It has been a mere 2 weeks, but I feel great everytime I do it. :)
My mornings are certainly better than ever before. 

I am looking forward to the next session as I type. 

 

Today's supper:

I roasted a hen for supper tonight. In a nutshell, this is what I did.

1) Rub the hen with sea salt, pepper, garlic, Lawry's seasoning salt, Cajun seasoning inside and out

2) Place thinly sliced lemon between the skin and the hen.

3) Stuff the cavity with lemon halves.

4) Place in oven, 350, until juices run clear (or 180 on a meat thermometer)

 

I made a light salad as well:

1) Julienne carrots

2) Thinly chopped lettuce

3) Crush up a bag of Ramen noodles

4) Mix them together. Add sesame oil, apple cider vinegar, half a pack of seasoning. Give it a good shake.

5) Sprinkle sesame seeds and almonds

 

Enjoy!

It is almost 7 a.m. and my Monday morning has been going for the past hour and a half. 
Nothing beats starting your week with a great burst of optimism -- and some honey during breakfast certainly doesn't hurt.

I love honey, and Pooh bear will be my confidante. 

 

Today will be a great day. 

I hope yours will be too.

I made a 3-hour drive up north to attend my former classmate's bridal luncheon/shower, and I certainly enjoyed myself. 

The ladies who hosted the luncheon took care of all the minute details -- tables had little vases of zinnas; pink plates, cutleries wrapped with floral napkin and secured with a pretty bow, candles for guests.  The meal was simple yet bursting with flavors! Dessert was decadently sinful. 

After the meal, we all jumped into the pool to beat the heat.  We hunged out, drank some iced pink lemonade, and got some sun. 

In fact, I was a little sunburned.  :)

Then, we managed to get Sarah to open up some of her gifts. It was fun watching what she got from different people. How exciting! 

AND I made the long drive back to Ruston.  It was good. I had some Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers keep me company on the road, as well as an audiobook. 

I was drained though -- think the sun had soaked all energy out of my body. 

 

On another issue:

I made my second rejection of a job offer.  The terms were really attractive -- good pay, great benefits, excellent progression and learning opportunities. 
However, the flame inside me was a mere flicker and not a roaring fire.  Something better is out there.  I am sure.

 

On food:
I made BBQ pulled pork & beef sandwiches today for lunch.  YUMMY!!!

It took a while to pull the meat into shreds, but it was worth it.  The meat was served over toasted buns. 
We also had some fresh corn on the cob as side items. 

 

 

Overall, this has been a wonderful day!
I hope you had a great weekend.

See u soon!

I will be getting a masters degree in speech language pathology in less than 3 weeks.  It certainly has been a very fulfilling experience.  Definitely not an easy path to take, but definitely a very meaningful journey.  I guess, I have learned a lot about myself, about the field, and about others.   It brought me closer and more in touch with reality.  I saw patients with real struggles, with real problems. I saw patients with no loved ones. I saw patients giving up, losing will, and eventually succumbed.  I have heard sad stories, triumphant ones, as well as the bittersweet ones.  All very different, but they all are learning experiences -- and allowed me to learn through others. 

 

Deciding on what jobs to take up with, which state to move to, what to do with my emotional baggage have been difficult.  I feel like I am getting slapped left and right with decisions to make. Heck, I even have a difficult time deciding which restaurants to go to have lunch, and what color toothbrush I want to get this time.  Making decisions aren't really a forte of mine. 

It was easier several years ago.  I needed to find a fresh place to start, my heartstring was cut, and while some friendships were formed, they weren't strong enough to make me doubt the choices I made.  It is different now.  My life has basically revolved around these rather mundane things, and revolved around these people.  Letting go ain't easy. It seems like we have something good going on here.  But, I guess, it is time to let go.   Perhaps it wasn't meant to be. 

 

I thought I found "home." 

Home is where the heart is.  I thought I knew where my heart is, to whom it belonged.  I thought I know where home is. 

But, I may be wrong.  In another few weeks, I will have to uproot myself and seek again.

I am getting weary.  And in my heart, I wish miracles would happen. 

 

What lies ahead? I have no idea. 

The best I can do is to keep walking -- perhaps even strutting my way down.

Perhaps it is in God's hands -- perhaps He knows. 

Perhaps what He wanted is for me to find my own "HOME" -- one that will never be taken away from me. 

 

I wish you well.

I wish you have a home -- and a special spot in someone's heart. 

I wish you a mighty good day.

 

God bless.

 

 

 

 

Just a short note before I jet off to work.

I am feeling GREAT --- oh not really, actually slightly sore --- but nonetheless, great!

I had an awesome protein--filled breakfast, and had a wonderful yoga workout this morning.

I am feeling energized!
Hoorays for starting it all over again.

Will write again later in the day !
Have a great one! (7:54 am)

That is pretty much how my life is right now. It isn't bad, but it sure can be better though.

Every time when I feel like I am making a good move forward, something comes up and becomes either a hurdle, or that I am beaten back to square one.

Somehow, apart from intellectual knowledge I have gotten over the years, it seems or feels like I have accomplished nothing great. At the end of the day, there seemed to be some hollowness inside. Things happen for a reason, and perhaps there will be a rainbow after the rain.  But at this point, it is difficult for me to subscribe to that pep talk.  It feels like London in the winter --- cold, dreary, grey, muggy. It pretty much stinks! 

Words can't express what all are going on in my head. Many random thoughts --- many "what ifs," "I wish," "why don't you just ...," and "If onlys."

Someone once told me that I cannot undertake all the challenges alone, that I should share the load.  I am having a hard time sharing the load.  Perhaps I haven't found that right person to share that load with. 

There will be a lot of changes ahead, a lot of just sucking it up and just doing it, perhaps a lot of apprehension, and definitely a lot of learning. 

I believe I am almost ready for all that. 

 

 

I think I might have found the 'right' setting for work.

I am now placed at a rehabilitation hospital to do my clinical rotation, and I am loving it. I love the level of involvement I am with my patients -- that my job is not merely to diagnose a communication impairment or to determine if the patient is safe for oral intake or has to be NPO. Right now, I do that, and MORE. I do therapy with the patients; I see them twice a day and many times a week for therapy. I am learning about them, their strengths, their weaknesses and to use that to help them make gains in the sessions.

 

Life is pretty good so far.

 

I am looking for a car since my current one is old, still moving, and up for sale. It is tough when you have limited budget to work with, since I don't want to finance the car, and wanted to just pay cash once and for all. I hope something will turn up soon.

 

I made my first lattice crust apple pie.

Yeap. I actually made the crust myself, and peeled, cored, and sliced those apples myself too.

Definitely a ''from scratch" pie ... and definitely yummy too!

I hope your weekend was as good as mine.

 

Take care.

 

 

This is my 2nd full day back in Ruston.  So far so good. It feels like things are needing to be done, chores needing to be taken care of, businesses needing to be taken care of.  This feels like LIFE -- the daily doldrum of life.  Compared that to my 1 month visit to Singapore, this is IT. This is where I know how to get around, how to get through. Singapore was a vacation -- never having the fav. shampoo/conditioner I was used to, sleep in the bed I am used to, never having the right shoes to match the outfit, oh, heck, never having the right outfit for the occassion -- since I didnt pack much clothing to begin with.

 

I am liking it here. Home is where the heart is.

I think, I just might have found Home.